This post is just to give my online friends a visual that should explain why I have not responded to their recent tweets and comments. The scene takes place in The Plenty home. The events are factual and no names have been changed because these people are far from innocent!
Jackson (Jax): 7 yrs.
Boston: 8 yrs.
Billi-Joan: 8 yrs.
Bill (hubs): 41 but acts like he’s 12
Bill: Any penises in the room?
Bill: On my video game…somebody is always making a penis for an emblem! WTF is wrong with the world we live in?!
Me: O…O…OK! Sorry I asked.
Jax (yelling from the other room): Dad…the lunch lady said that I need to add money to my account.
Bill (yelling back): Tell the lunch lady that I said…
Me: BILL! Jackson, go to bed…in your own room; in your own bed!
Billi-Joan: It’s hot in here! This is so stupid!
Boston: Hey! Move over…I was here first!
Me: Jackson! Did you fall out of the bed again?
Billi-Joan: Mooooom! Boston put his foot in my face and his feet STINK!
Jax: IN YOUR FACE! *LOL* Take THAT!
Me: Don’t make me come in there!
Bill: Know what the “P” in 1080P stands for Joan? PEEEENIS!
Jax: Boston, I have gum…want some? PSYCH! *LOL* I don’t have any gum.
Billi-Joan: Hey Jackson! I can snap! Watch! *snap* *snap*
Me: That’s IT!! Daddy! DADDY! Call Santa and tell ‘em the kids aren’t listening and won’t go to bed!
Bill (pretending to call Santa on his cell phone): Yo! What’s up Santa…it’s Daddy, how u doin? Nothin’, just chillin…bustin’ out some ‘Black Ops 2′ on “The Box”. Whatchu doin’? Yea, you know…same ole, same ole. Billi, Boston and Jackson are “off the hook” again! Mmm hmmm…same shit every year.
Boston: STOP Jackson!
Billi-Joan: Jackson STOP!
Jax: What did I do?!
Bill (after hanging up with Santa and returning to his video game): Nope! No penises!
Me: *shakes head and heads into the kitchen to make another tropical martini*