Joani Plenty

With the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, I welcome a simpler, slower pace right about now.  But that’s exactly when I realized that, other than my lane in traffic, my lane at the store and the drive-thru at any given fast food restaurant, nothing is slow anymore.   My entire life is a status update!  I can’t go anywhere or do anything without saying, “Ha!  That’s going to be my next status!”  What did I do b4 Facebook?  See, even words have been shortened to save time.   What did we do when there was DOS; before Windows 95 and well, before texting?

Hmmm, I read more, talked on the phone for HOURS using numbers found in my little black book, no doubt (which, btw, I found recently.  I think I’ll put that back where I found it…as well as the picture of me with my obsession at the time; a half naked stripper named Lucas!  He asked me out that night the picture was taken but I could barely hear his thick accent over the thumping nick, nack, patty-wackness that was coming from the speakers, beating on my ear drums by the end of the night.  The crowd was now separating us by pushing me toward the door like a sweaty, lusty, alcoholic tsunami.  ”How much alcohol is being wasted on that sobering sensory overload each night?” I wondered.   My friend had to later tell me, in the car, (after I just smiled, nodded my head and walked away from him) that he was trying to ask me out…wait…what was I talking about originally?  Hhhhh.  Unfortunately, a stripper with an accent affects me the way that a glass of Pino Grigio would a skinny, hungry chick.  Sorry.

The point is…lets get back to the original way of life.  I mean I’m not going as far back as a time before remote control tv, that’s just dumb.  But at least back to when the gold Dolce & Gabanna Razor phone came out (I mourn my phone but still have the beautifully awesome box that it came in).  *sniff*  Yes, back to writing each other letters and sending them via snail mail.  Back to a time of less urgency…no need to reach someone at that VERY moment.  If the line is busy when you call, that means that the person is…wait for it…BUSY!  If it’s an actual emergency (or you suspect your boyfriend/girlfriend is on the line with someone they shouldn’t be on the line with), then you make an emergency breakthrough!

Really take it back…it will be fun!  What do you want to get back to?  I want to get back to weekend getaways with my favorite girls…where phones are left at the door when you cross the threshold and picked back up on the way out 2 days later!  This may not sound too practical but you could simply give your immediate family members a special ringer and only answer the phone when you hear it (and they know to only call if there is an emergency) .  Someone want to see if there’s an app for that?!  Thanks!

Most of us have it way too easy.  I’m probably 100% sure, almost that Helen Keller is rolling over in her grave.  I am fearful for my children.  What are we sacrificing?    Well, I don’t plan to wait around to find out!  Effective immediately, I will make an effort to PERSONALLY connect with the people closest to my heart in as many ways possible.   We could all use Google for the greater good…Google ideas on how to reconnect with what we loved most in our previous years ( instead of ideas on how to get revenge on an ex (because they’re all embedded in my head anyway).  How about using at least one facebook stat update each day to make someone else feel good instead of subliminally making someone feel bad.  I’m going to start eating meals at the table without the tv on and take 30 min. a day to ask about and listen to how my family and closest friends spent their’ day (and if that time runs over a bit, I’m going to appreciate it that much more.  That I connected and felt close that much longer because when all is said and done…I refuse to stand over anyone’s casket with regrets.

What do you already do to connect and stay connected without technology…in a mental, physical and/or spiritual way?  We’d all love to hear your stories, as they may help others simplify their lives though they believed they couldn’t.  Make positive changes, big or small, that make you feel good and lets get back to what really matters.