Joani Plenty

Born With A Desire To Inspire
January 1st, 2013

Knock Out 2013

I’ve learned more in the past two weeks about myself than I have in all of 2012. Here’s what I’ve learned in the past year:

January: 2011 was amazing until the very last day of the year but January always comes with a clean slate and piece of crisp, white chalk to write with.

February: Never underestimate how much strength you truly have. Sometimes you may even prefer to be weak because it’s easier but those like me understand that weakness is not an option; not even in temporary form.

March: The “me” in social MEdia is an oxymoron.

April: The things that you want most are already yours. You just have to lighten up on the reigns of control and let things happen for a reason.

May: Great friendships CAN be created from online connections in business and in life. Surrounding yourself with others doing what you dream of doing is the fastest way to actually doing.

June: Sometimes you change course unintentionally but as long as you base your decisions on feel-good feelings; it will always be the right one. It’s not quitting on a dream yet retiring an idea for a better one.

July: Others will test your strength…sometimes, all at once.  Thank them.

August: Take risks. Don’t allow fear to control the only life that you get. Use your fear as an indicator. The more fear you feel the more you’ll know that it’s something you need to do. With that said; taking risks and being risky are two different things.  Don’t get so caught up in the adrenaline rush that you neglect those closest to you. BALANCE.

September: Hard work does pay off but, ironically, only when it doesn’t feel like work. Do the work that YOU want to do. There’s so much more world out there to see. Take it all in. Schedule time to travel and connect with others; even if it’s the next state over.

October: Try harder…in love, work, and life in general. Make a conscious effort to look for your part in a problem. Consider the facts; don’t consume yourself with someone else’s negativity; don’t jump to conclusions (even if you know that you’re right) because being right is usually a small, unimportant part of the equation.

November: Love and friendship go hand-in-hand; the thrill of the chase can turn into more of a race; Everyone goes through tough times…the best love, the best friends, and the best business relationships…EVERYONE. Don’t judge others because you don’t and won’t know the full story to their struggle; just because someone struggles in one of the relationships mentioned above doesn’t mean that it’s not a good relationship and a needed experience in the form of a struggle.

December: Motivation, under promising/over delivering and time-management are skills that I need to work on in 2013; the ends, sometimes, justify the means; wishing pain on your enemy is like drinking poison but waiting for THEM to die; harsh words can make you feel better and worse at the same time; nothing that a good person does can make them a bad person…they either are or they aren’t; the walls that you put up will never be tall enough to hide from true love or shield you from vulnerability so be sure to put down the blaming finger, express your feelings more (because a person’s feelings are never “wrong”) and, more importantly, listen with duct tape on your lips. Weakness IS an option; karma is a bitch and then you die. No…that’s not how that goes…sorry…Don’t ever underestimate the power of Karma…she’s a force to be reckoned with. BUT, if you happen to run into her…give her bacon. OK, forget it! I think I’ll leave her alone in 2013. How about the truth shall set you free but sometimes it’s unnecessary? Don’t be a glutton; use the facts to get you to the solution…just the needed facts. Don’t ever feel sorry for yourself…if it’s truly needed, others will feel sorry FOR you. Sometimes, what looks like a time of weakness for one person may actually be a cry for help and what looks like weakness in another may actually be a sign of strength. *I learned a lot last month* :)

Here’s to taking out 2013 with a swift upper cut early on so that you can dance around the ring with your arms in the air at the end of the year!

*clink*

 

@joaniplenty

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Posted in Friendship, Hey Joani!, Live & Learn, Marriage, Public Service (sometimes disservice) Announcement | 2 Comments »

September 12th, 2012

Negative Noise

Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your inner voice. – Steve Jobs

A family member recently said something horrible to me (that’s not the surprise…it happens.  We tend to sometimes treat strangers on the street with more kindness and respect, unfortunately).

Anyone who knows me knows that negativity, especially directed towards me, fuels me.  But this time, due to the source, I teetered on motivation and sadness.  Either way, the sadness was short lived and the motivation is what was put out to receive exactly what I wanted in return.

I DON’T CARE what it is that motivates you (as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else), do it!  DO IT!  NOW!  Get effin motivated because, sometimes, that’s all that it takes is a little spark.  It’s all psychological; truly!

I met someone the other day and she stood out from everyone else that I met that day and continues to stand out in my mind, but for nothing good.  Nothing.  Even pictures taken of this person scream “I’M NOT HAPPY”!  Conversations with this person (which I intentionally limited) were not only negative but showed their envy for others, hence, dislike for themselves.

I couldn’t imagine living like that.  The constant struggle with oneself.  We were all put here to be happy.  Really.  For good; to feel good, do good and receive good.  But some people don’t get that and, instead, walk the planet as human needles; deflating others’ happiness, ideas and self-worth.

 

You are whatever you think you are; whether it’s a positive self-image or a negative one.  So, though money, items, and/or education don’t define who you are; your self-image does.

 

Til the lip sticks and the chocolate chips,

Joani xo

 

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April 24th, 2012

Today…Have a cup o’ambition on me! Mmmm

UP AND AT ‘EM!!!!! TODAY…you CAN do it (whatever “it” is). Just START. I’d rather see you start today and not finish than to not start at all! Have you been wanting or needing to get something done (i.e. make a dentist appointment; open and sort bills; clean a closet)? Set a small goal JUST for today. Make a dentist appt and just gather the bills together or JUST go through and pay a few bills (marking “paid” on the envelope feels great)! You could just focus on shoes in the closet…nothing else. And, if you’re like me with millions of shoes, then how about you organize the red shoes or put away the winter shoes/boots. That’s it! Then tomorrow, tackle another small task. You’ll find that it was fast and easy come the end of the week when you’re smiling and you have, what I like to call, “better” chaos. Yes, it’s still there…for the most part the mess may still be there, some bills won’t get paid (OF COURSE) and some of the shoes weren’t tackled (unless you surprised yourself and, while listening to your iPod, got carried away and completed way more than you expected, he he he!) but the shoes and/or mess are not the issue. Really. WHO CARES?! I’ll say it again…WHOOOOO CAAAAARES! In the big scheme of things, I don’t know about or care that you can only find just the left shoe to each pair. The goal is to FEEL GOOD. THAT is what life is all about. Doing things and being surrounded by people, places and things that make us feel good.

So, if a mess, unpaid bill, annual check-up, cleaning out the fruit drawer (brown apples creep me out and at the bottom of this post I’ll give you a tip on how to keep them from turning brown) are just a few of the things that are hanging over your head, just starting can actually make you feel good.  You may find that you feel less overwhelmed if you do it on YOUR terms.  Not someone else’s terms that have you believing it must all be done today (and that includes your own alter ego, your “perfect” BFF, your mother/M-I-L, your kids’ teacher, your boss etc.). Doing things on your terms and, more importantly, being OK when you decide to stop though the task is unfinished, can make you feel GREAT!  Because you know that it will get finished finally. How do you know? Because you started and you are moving toward completion each day no matter how big or small the steps.  Success is INEVITABLE!  How ya like THEM apples! :p

I think I’ll go open ONE bill (if I could open half a bill I would  because that’s how I’m rollin today)!!

I have a couple of free hours to live today (instead of hours to kill…see how I did that?) so I’m off to commit some fun random acts of kindness then home to do some writing and read the new book ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ by E.L. James because I’m on a “feel-good mission” too! You go ahead and decide to have a GREAT day! Then do it! Have you decided?? *I’ll wait while you wake-up and try to get behind this decision* Ready? Set? GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!  *Oh geez…I can hear the ‘Rocky’ theme music from here*

Below you will find my tip to keep apples from turning brown so quickly and a FREE goodie to help you with those tasks mentioned above!

xoxo

J-

 

 

P.S. – Since you’re such a hotshot now, how about adding this one last task to your list:  Click here to vote for me for the 2012 Nations United Social Media Award!  I am the only woman (and 1 of only 2 nominees from the US)!  Every single nominee is deserving and I am so glad to have met them virtually and look forward to meeting them in “real-life” at the awards!  So, I thank you in advance and TRUUUUULY appreciate not only you taking the time out of your busy day (which by the way, should not be as busy now that we’ve got the plan mentioned above *wink*) to click and vote but to have been nominated at all.  I was so focused on the other types of awards that were right under my nose to intentionally go for and add to the virtual wall of my website when… BAM!  I’m nominated, for the most meaningful award I’ve ever been nominated for, behind my back!  As if!!  All for my ‘Random Kindness Rally Project’ where, instead of fearing my 40th birthday and wallowing in self-pity, I decided to come up with a plan to feel GOOD that day…make it the BEST birthday instead of the worst.  So, knowing that nothing makes me happier than to make others happy, I set out on a mission to commit 40 acts of kindness; one for each day of life that I’m grateful for!  To get others involved in such fun, I started a project.  I created an annual Twitter “Tweetrally” for others to follow and interact with me as I go, through-out the day, paying-it-forward and hopefully get inspired to do the same.  I asked, in lieu of gifts this year, that everyone commit one random act of kindness and share what they did along with pictures if they chose to do so!  My video and pictures will be up on my website soon!  I’m so looking forward to watching this project grow as I now have an R&D team to bounce my happy ideas off of, making next year an even bigger success!  March 15th, the Ides of March, will now be a happy day of kindness instead of a sad day of betrayal!

Thanks again for your vote…it will come back to you tenfold!  Kindness begets kindness.  ;)  While you’re there, check out some of the other WONDERFUL nominees and their projects.  www.nationsunited.org/awards/nominees

Nations United…beautiful people doing beautiful things.

 

As promised: A GREAT apple tip for keeping apples from turning brown right after you cut them so that you, and especially the kids and their lunch boxes, can enjoy them longer: Click Here!

ALSO…since we’re talking about completing tasks (and to help make this even EASIER so that you have NO excuses), I’ve asked my friends Matt and Nick over at Time Dog if they could help a few of my readers out as well!  Being the awesome, sincere (and funny) guys that they are, of course they would absolutely LOVE to help you with your tasks and complete some FOR you for FREE!!!!  That’s how they roll!

Now, if you know me you know that I am always searching for great finds, deals, products and services online.  You would also, then, know that I am honest and NOT one for quick schemes (even if it were to put money into my pocket…blahhhh) and have a very low tolerance for BS!  This is why many people (friends and total strangers alike, who have followed me and learned this about me) come to me when they need to find the perfect product, gift or service and fast!  Because they know that I am honest, I have OCWSD (Obsessive Compulsive Web Surfer Disorder…I don’t sleep and have come to the end of the internet several times) and I want the best for EVERYONE, including success for the good, legitimate, businesses that are out there marketing to us.  Nothing boils my blood and gives me “crow’s feet” more than internet BS!  Even some of the legitimate businesses get you to their website and then bash you over the head with their sales pitches and now, not-so-interesting “deals”.  So, though I may have originally been interested in their product or service, if you  make me think that I’m getting one thing and then I realize that I’m not (or I am as long as I pay a million and two dollars and give up my first born) I frown and go back to Pinterest.

But that is NOT what Time Dog is (and believe me, I TRIED to grill them to find the “Ah Ha! I KNEW it!” when I first found them but there wasn’t one.  Then I just stared at them…made them listen to the crickets and the wind between my ears).  But it’s true, these guys are actually providing busy people, like myself, FREE virtual assistant services and then if you like them (which you will), they charge you like $35 a month to do an UNLIMITED amount of stuff every day that you don’t have time to do (or don’t feel like doing)!  They do all of this without a contract so you can cancel if you must (Time Dog is confident that you’ll return, no worries, they understand that your $35 may need to go to a more pressing issue that month ), without paying them up front for the year etc.  There are absolutely NO disclaimers needed here when I type this because not only was I not asked or paid to say these things, but Time Dog has no idea that I’m adding it to this particular post which will be read by many, making even more work for them (so get OVER there!  Sheesh, I’ve given you the link like 35 times now!  You’ll want to find out what it is that they do not do ’cause they looked at me as if I had two heads when I asked them to bathe my kids and wash my car.  BUT, I need a new car anyway and finding me what I want for the price that I want with all of my quirky, picky must-haves and betta-not-haves is right up their alley *pulls out phone to call Time Dog)!

Thankfully, Time Dog is fully staffed and love what they do!  FREE to try though guys?  Ten tasks a day (unless you decide to keep these cinderfellas after the FREE 15 days, then it’s unlimited) for free?  Everyday??  They even have REALLY pretty gift cards to give the gift of a virtual assistant to someone else!  See…I told you it was crazy but hey, that’s what happens when you stay positive and surround yourself with positive people…that’s what happens, man!

 

Until next time…Warmest wishes,

Joani  <3

 

Twitter: twitter.com/joaniplenty

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February 23rd, 2012

Where Can I Get More Fear?!

Though I received extremely bad news of a family emergency last Fri., you would never know it…I’m still me.  I talked to one of my very first twitter friends, Valerie Haight (@valeriebrbr), over the phone (and everyone KNOWS how much I despise talking on the phone…don’t have 5 min. to eat let alone time to talk) but she made me feel great about being me when many are so good at being something else.  I thought maybe I was the “odd woman out” and should try to contain myself…that this is what everyone had to do for the sake of business.

But it didn’t feel good.  And I’ve always been the first person to say that if it doesn’t feel good…then it’s NOT good!  My “gut gauge” is rarely wrong.  So, I stopped allowing others to live rent-free in my head and focused on my novel, a few projects I’ve been asked to take part in as well as my birthday, (you’re invited too!  I’ve placed more info below about my ‘Random Kindness Rally’ 3/15).  Not to mention a new site launch and starring in a stage production hoping to find time to run lines.  #grateful

Right after that quick and awesome call, I watched a video showing the inspiring launch of  www.30secondmobile.com and felt even better about my business decisions and the hard work that it’s taking to bring them to life!  But what I’m doing, following my dreams, is not the norm, unfortunately.  While some are taking the stairs, others allow the elevator to go by because there are so many taking the same elevator or they waste time wondering which is best…waiting for the next elevator or taking the stairs (click here for full elevator analogy).

Take it from me, GO FOR YOUR DREAMS!!  I promise you will not regret it or be “worse” off than you are right now!  I mean, you can always go back to just dreaming so what have you really got to lose, right?  Like “they” say: A goal without action is just a wish.  What seems like a scary step or jump due to sacrifices and hard work (especially if you’re sitting there saying, “I have no idea where to begin and I don’t have any extra money, Joani Jackass!”) you’ll find that the resources are all right there in front of you (Google is my BFF) and the hard work doesn’t seem like work at all because you are going to love doing what you love!

Yes, there will be tons of sacrifice but trust me when I say that your imagination is like kryptonite when it comes to thoughts of what may go wrong.  The more creative your imagination is about what “may” happen, the more you know that you should really be doing what you love.  ’F’ fear!  I know that’s a strong word (or…um…letter) but it’s THAT serious!  Are you going to allow one word…one feeling to come between you and ten words  that describe how you feel when you are doing what you love?  Acknowledge the fear but use it to motivate you.  Tell yourself that the more fear you feel; the more reason you have to go for it!  Because people without passion don’t have that strong sense of fear.  THEY are the ones who may be unsuccessful, but you…you should ENCOURAGE fear.  Hope to have so much fear that you need an Rx for motion sickness!  Hope to  have so much fear that your hair turns white!  Because only then will you know that you have the passion needed to get what you want!

Here are just a few small (but important) tips to help you get started:

  • Take a step…any step, each day toward your goal.  No matter how small.

 

  • Stop avoiding crutial parts of the process like creating a Twitter account (or using the one that you have) because you don’t know much about it or how to use it.  TWITTER WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE and speed the ride to your goal!  We (my  tweeps) are here to help not hinder.  I’ve never seen a more positive and supportive social site in my life!  I say it all the time but it sometimes falls on deaf ears because you won’t know the impact of the Twitter pool until you dive in!

 

  • Feel the fear and do it the hell anyway!  You’ve got this…you DO!

Whatever you need to do to stay motivated…do that!  Listen to the effin ‘Rocky’ theme song (Gonna Fly) 5 times before breakfast if that’s what it takes.  Then say, “Is that ALL the fear that I have?!  I KNOW that I want this badly and I know that I’m passionate…so, if fear indicates passion, PUHLEAAASE tell me that I’m going to feel more fear than THIS!”

Then, finish your bowl of ‘Frankenberry’ and go for what you KNOW!

 

It’s the…eye of the tiger, it’s the thrill of the fight.  Rising up to the *den neh neh neh nah naaaah*!  And the last known survivor of the *den neh neh neh…dun dun dun dun dun dun dun* the eeeeeeye…of the tigerrrr!

J-

xo

Twitter: @joaniplenty

Join the tweet party Thu. 3/15/12, as I commit 40 random acts of kindness for my 40th birthday and tweet about them along the way!  To be a part of this awesome ‘Random Kindness Rally’, just sign into Twitter on March 15, 2012 (great time to create an account don’t you think?)  :)  at 10 AM (until I’ve completed all 40 random acts of kindness).  To join the awesome live stream and meet some of the best people on Twitter, type the following into the search box: #HappyBdayJoani

*You want to be sure to type “bday” and not “birthday”

Facebook: /joaniplenty

about.me: /joaniplenty

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www.joaniplenty.com

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Posted in Inspirational, Live & Learn, Today... | 2 Comments »

February 14th, 2012

Happy? Who cares?!


I woke up and got “at ‘em” today only to be slightly distracted by my awesome Twitter friends (notifications come to my phone so it beeps and boops all day long if I’m tagged in a tweet). After working hard for most of the day, a phone call from my little cousin, whose smile can be heard through the phone, was a welcomed break.

We discussed how we’re both feeling very motivated lately; moving steadily in a positive direction, catching dreams and working toward our goals. Then she mentioned something that many of us are too familiar with. She said that she was amazed at how miserable and/or negative some of the people that she associates with seem to be “all of a sudden” and that she worried that it would affect her progress.

Well, after hopefully inspiring her with my own tortuous tales (I WILL be 40 in 4 wks, so I have a few) I explained that these people did not just “become” miserable and/or negative but because she is surrounding herself with more positive people or people who are also working toward their goals with less, shall we say, drama, in their lives, the “miserable/negative” is magnified because she has something to compare it to. Some people are just drawn to drama, and some truly don’t know HOW to be happy; it doesn’t mean that they are any less nice and most importantly, that it has to affect us.

My cousin then mentioned that even her emotions change drastically after talking with one of her girlfriends for just 5 min., but I’ll get to that in a minute. With my cousin being much younger than me and having less experiences under her belt, she was also concerned with what will be said (negatively about her) if she distances herself slightly from these people.

Ha! I didn’t mean to laugh in her ear like that; it was a knee-jerk reaction but I’ve been there. So, I explained that this is not important. Not important at ALL. Sure, to “save face”, so that it doesn’t seem as if they were “dumped” by my cousin for greener, more positive, pastures, things or fake scenarios may be created (put yourself in their shoes…trust me, they know that they’re miserable whether they admit it or not and I’m sure that it doesn’t make them feel any better than my cousin felt) but again…what is said is not important. What is important is that she continues to move in the right direction. Those others can choose to either celebrate with her or not (get in line or get left behind).

I’m not quite sure that she grasped this, being concerned with her relationships, so I just told her that understanding all of this comes with maturity (NOT age) and all that she has are her feelings. I went on to say that she should follow her instincts, use those bad “feelings” as an indicator, radar, her meter of merry measurement! Go with it! No one can give us the answers to a test that they didn’t create anymore than we can know what will work for us without ever having experienced it. There are even things that I’ve experienced several times, for almost 39 years, that I’ve just finally grasped and would have grasped much sooner if I had just listened to my gut instead of my brain. The gut is a better indicator because we can’t control it; we can’t control how we feel. As for the brain, we can make ourselves believe anything that we want to believe.

When we do positive things and visualize positive results, great things inevitably happen. Why? because we’re focused on them and naturally do things to ensure those results. Will everyone we know follow suit? No. Will everyone care? Probably not. But look at it as if you were one of many people waiting for an elevator. Some continue to press the button several times, then take the initiative to walk the stairs. Some wait, unsure of which will be faster, waiting for the elevator or taking the stairs. After allowing a full elevator to go by a few times, they begin to feel a sense of urgency and choose either the stairs or quickly maneuver and squeeze themselves onto the next elevator. While others are too busy standing around gossiping about the “impatient” people who took the stairs and the “desperate” people who squeezed onto the elevator, that they miss the next elevator all together and end up just going out to lunch to do what they do best. Then you have those who fear elevators and heights so though they truly wish to get to the top floor, they make excuses and limit themselves to whatever is on the ground.

A negative cause (focusing on others’ negativity) always gives you a negative effect (heavy heart, anxiety, discomfort). It’s that simple. No need to over think it. We shouldn’t give thought, time or energy to that which distracts us from our goals and feelings of happiness. We are not all on the same path at the same time and that’s OK. What is important is that we recognize the type of elevator rider we are and then act accordingly or make a change; sometimes causing us to make tough decisions along the way.

Everything works out in the end if you allow it. It may not be what you expected or thought you wanted but keep your eye on the prize…ultimate and ineffable happiness.

Joani's shoe logo...like it?! Thanks! I did it myself!

Joani Plenty is a mother, wife and lover of life.  An expert on friendship (not because of the successful friendships but because of the unsuccessful ones) and former personal success coach, Joani’s goal is to tell her stories, inspire and motivate others to be the epitome of themselves first; everything else will fall into place.

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December 30th, 2011

Annual Do-Over

Another year has come to an end.  As usual, there was thrilling birth, unfortunate death, happy marriage, and love lost.  But as we dust off our dumbbells and balance our checkbooks in preparation for the new year, a strong sense of motivation comes over us all.  The thought of starting fresh moves us to believe anything is possible. And it is!  After all, time is on our side, right?  From where we stand, we’ve got 365 days to get it right (whatever “it” may be).

But what are you going to do?  Here’s what I suggest:

Be happy.

 

Do you like how I typed the period in bold?  Oh, you didn’t notice?  Well, I did!  To stress the importance of this statement.  Be happy. Period.  I know, i knooow…some of you are thinking, “stfu Joan…whatever!  It’s easier said than done.”  And I say to you, “No!  Make me!!  This is my blog and if y…”  I mean, I say…It’s that exact attitude that makes being happy difficult. I truly believe that some people, subconsciously, don’t want to be happy because then they no longer have excuses.  There’s too much responsibility that goes with attaining true happiness.

 

Yea, I said it…so sue me (I’ll just copy and paste some sort of disclaimer to the bottom of this blog post).  In lieu of legalities though, you could also choose to start small…who cares, just START!  Be happy.  Not for a weekend getaway (though, this is a form of “start”), not for a summer but for life.  This is a DIY project and all of the needed supplies are readily available within you, so…start!

 

One of the worst things we could do when it comes to declaring happiness is to expect over night results.  You weren’t conditioned with your current beliefs over night (practice made perfect, baby).  These beliefs are what I like to call Brain Fossils©.  They’re old beliefs that took years to embed into your brain and, later, find.  There’s also no way of knowing what makes us happy if we are unaware of what makes us unhappy.  Sure, you know that the person driving Miss Daisy in front of you in the passing lane makes you unhappy but think bigger (and perhaps “Miss Daisy’s” circumstances and struggles are just as important as yours.  What if the person is driving slowly out of fear due to the loss of a child in a car accident while they were behind the wheel?  What if the person has just left their physician’s office and needs extra time to think about how they are going to give their family the bad news?)…So take your time with this “happy” thing, take baby steps and re-condition yourself to be happy above all else.  Having consideration for other people’s struggles makes it easier for us to recognize that we’re not so far away from our own true happiness.

 

In 2012, choose and write down your baby steps to happiness.  For instance, learn to say no immediately (especially to friends and family).  Don’t wear yourself thin trying to please everyone or be everything to everybody.  If you have something planned when another invite comes in, don’t think for a moment that you can do it all in an attempt NOT to disappoint the people closest to you because something will go wrong with time management.  Your intentions will go unseen and unappreciated leaving you feeling, well, unhappy.

 

Be confrontational, meaning, don’t be afraid to face someone if something is bothering you.  It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.  People will have more respect for you if confronted in a sincere, non-condescending manner…but being “wishy-washy” gets under people’s skin quickly and only hurts YOU mentally and emotionally.

 

Work hard at whatever makes you happy.  Get a new hobby.  Save but don’t pinch.  Age but don’t “die”; live but stay grounded.  Push yourself to try something you fear (I bet other people do what you fear every day).  Hug your parents, lovers, children, neighbors and pets a few seconds longer.  Stop procrastinating and making excuses because time is fair; it waits for no one.

 

Understand that not everyone cares and that’s OK.  Don’t be so critical, especially of yourself.  Visualize often; what you want, where you want to be, and most importantly, what you already have.  Being grateful for the good in your life brings more of it just as dwelling on the bad…you guessed it, brings more of it.

 

Also remember, the world doesn’t revolve around you so respect others’ time, possessions, feelings, struggles, energy, hard work, creativity, quirks and place on this earth.  We all started life the same way and we’ll all end it the same way…with one quick breath.  So, in the meantime, in between time, keep that in mind.  Refer to it when you feel selfish, envious, jealous, bitter or hurt…when you have anger, road rage, or disappointment.  Feel a sense of purpose with each breath that YOU take between those two inevitable quick breaths.

 

Most importantly, forget about everything in 2011 that doesn’t make you feel good; it’s done.  It’s done.  Though this is one of the hardest steps to true happiness, once we come to grips with it, once we learn to set it and forget it, we’re then able to get excited about the opportunities that are sure to come our way!  I like to refer to anxiously waiting for happiness as the Popcorn Method©.  Have you ever put a bag of popcorn into the microwave and then stood there as it popped?  How about while tap dancing in place like a 4 yr. old because you had to go to the bathroom?  That was THE longest 2.5 minutes in the world, right?!  But what about if you had placed the popcorn into the microwave, then ran to the bathroom?  Well, all I know is that I’ve never wiped, whipped (my pants up) and washed so fast in an effort to save my popcorn from morphing into charcoal.

 

Point is, if you wait for happiness to fully pop, you may become discouraged and no longer believe that it is truly attainable.  But if you go to the bathroom, I mean, get a hobby, focus on family and the small things that already make you happy, and remove what doesn’t, true happiness will creep up on you before you even have a chance to wipe!  Take advantage of the 365 days that you have to practice being happy.  The heart-felt annual “do-over” will ring at midnight on 12/31 and emotions will flow as soon as we hear Auld Lang Syne (-n. old times; times past, especially those remembered with affection or nostalgia – dictionary.com …nowhere does it say old crap that makes me feel crappy).  So, with that said, what are you going to do in 2012?!

 

Be happy (I thought we went over this).

 

Joani Pleny <— apparently misspelling my own name makes ME happy!  I think I’ll leave it.  It adds character.  See…whatever floats your boat and finds your remote, I always say (that’s actually the first time I’ve ever said that but trust that I will find ways to fit it into my convos daily).  : p

www.joaniplenty.com

joaniplenty@gmail.com (current temporary address)

jplenty@joaniplenty.com

 

facebook.com/joaniplenty

@joaniplenty

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November 1st, 2011

Backwards is Beautiful

 

“Working backwards and loving it!” should be my Facebook page job title!  The word “backwards”, going forward (<— see what I did there?) for the sake of this post, is most definitely a positive thing.  There is never any rhyme or reason (that’s visible to the naked eye anyway) to my creativeness and I love that!  It’s like working out a really hard math problem in your own way and coming up with the correct answer.  Though, to explain how you got your answer is another story.  You couldn’t possibly explain it to anyone else but the proud feeling that you get because you understand it (and slight boastful feeling because no one else can fathom how you did it) is awesome to me.  Talk about motivation!

 

To give you an idea as to how backwards I really am (remember, the definition of “backwards” here is “creatively awesome”), I’m working on a trailer, for a book that isn’t even written, with a director as well as my musically talented son .  Why?  Because I’m a proud “Pantser” and that’s how we roll!  Traditional writing techniques would have you complete an outline before starting any writing project.  This is to help organize your thoughts and supposedly make the writing process easier.  I, on the other hand, dread the dreaded “O” word.  For me, and most Pantsers (read: All Pantsers that I’ve ever met), outlining does the exact opposite, causing me to procrastinate on starting the story to begin with.

 

As a matter of fact, there are a lot of things that are better backwards:

  • Stressed = Desserts (Dessert always makes things better)
  • Snoops = Spoons (would you prefer someone who’s cold and nosey or who “spoons” with you when it’s cold?)
  • Warts = Straw (this one is a given)
  • Stink = Knits (my Grandmother’s perfume has the ability to make fish float, which connects her to both words)
  • Gnats = Tang (cool refreshing drink or bugs that float in your cool refreshing drink?)
  • Pees = Seep
  • Nova – Avon (go ahead and choose smelly fish over fresh smelling bubble bath…whatev.)

 

Pantsers are visual creatures.  We write with more of a moving image or movie in our heads rather than reading a written story.  Instead of outlining a story from the beginning to end before starting, as the traditional writer does, we “just start”.  Pantsers just  go with the story as it comes, sometimes being as surprised with the ending as the reader will be once the book is complete.  When working on a paper in high school or college, the outline literally ruined my story. This, I know, sounds crazy to the traditional writer, but I felt as if it limited my creativity.  By taking me away from the flowing-creativity and pulling my eyes/mind back to this white piece of paper, to confirm that I didn’t “forget” anything, is too mechanical for a Pantser.  Instead, we use our 5 (sometimes, seemingly, 6) senses to guide us.  Ideas randomly written on the back of a colored note card, images kept in a special folder, and music from the past and/or present are all tools used to help the Pantser-process sail effortlessly and more enjoyably.

 

Doing research and choosing trailer music is helping me with new story ideas that I may not have thought of had I written it the traditional way.  For instance, the trailer that I’m working on surrounds the murder of a 7 yr. old slave girl.  Initially, I was defining the trailer by the effect that her murder had on the story but, after further research, I’ve chosen to focus on what happens to her instead.  Enter “creepy nursery music”.  I also learned a few interesting things about coded slave songs; something I never even considered adding to the story but found so fascinating that there’s no way that I can leave it out now and consider my novel complete.

 

The word “traditional” is more of a style than a correct way of doing something now.  Just like that math problem in high school, the finished product is what matters most.  As with any skill, we learn the basic way of doing then add our own “flavor”.  You build on a skill-set to make the work your own, sometimes using only the tools that work best for you!

 

So, if you’re a “Pantser”, whether a writer, musician, or any other type of right-brained artist, celebrate your uniqueness!  Own it, love it and be confident; refuse to be any other way.

 

Disclaimer: This article refers to the noun form of “Pantser” and does not, in any way, shape or form coincide with the verb “Pantsing” giving you the right to walk around pulling other people’s pants down then laughing hysterically at their expense.  I felt the need to include this information as my spouse now uses the word as a derogatory term when I ask him to take out the trash, yelling, “Screw YOU Pantser!” then yanking my pants to my ankles, laughing, well…hysterically.  Reference: The Trash

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October 20th, 2011

Today…Be Confident

I glanced at a Facebook status when I signed on this morning. Normally, I go straight to my page and view the fb feed when I get the chance to do so later in the day. I tend to get side tracked easily and on days when I have an A.D.D. flare up…f’gettaboutit!

But the image posted to a friend’s page of an open book that read, “Be Confident”, grabbed my attention and motivated me to read the rest of the paragraph. I like that! Motivation before coffee, such a rare treat.

As I read the posts that followed I was happy to see all of the positivity that was blanketing fb this morning–until the last comment. Everyone thus far had agreed that we all have strengths and weaknesses and as soon as you embrace both, only then will you truly succeed.

But the last comment bothered me as I don’t stomach negativity well. It read, “Easier said than done”. Grrrrrr! How do people NOT see that their negative self-talk is the main reason some things are harder to achieve than they should be? So, not knowing this person but feeling compelled to top off their glass so that it’s no longer half empty, (not on my watch) I commented:

“Actually, it is AS easily said as it is done. But as long as you have the attitude that something (anything) is easier said than done…it will be. Start by surrounding yourself with confident people/ people you admire. Practice. Good luck! ; )”

So, TODAY…Be Confident. If it doesn’t work out, you can always go back to doubting yourself, comparing yourself to others, and wishing you were someone you’re not but I think confidence will look good on you! Practice, practice, practice. I couldn’t whistle at one point, but instead of blaming a toothless mouth, I chose to practice. I’m now a whistling fool! My mother still says, “Yaaaay! You whistle so well!” like she did when I was 6 yrs. old. Nothing is too big or too small when it comes to confidence so start small and work your way up to glowing-confidence that exudes from your pores!

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October 3rd, 2011

Haterade…drink responsibly.

As I sit here staring at my computer screen with half a smile on my face, I take a deep breath. All that I can think about is not the negativity that has been creatively dished to me but what I am going to do from this day forward so that I never live a life that would have me serving this type of hate.

I’ve been living my dream and, almost overnight, sledding down a hill of motivation and positivity for several months now. I’ve been “sledding” before but the bottom of the hill was always in view; from the very beginning, while mounting the sled, it was there smirking at me to let me know that the enjoyment will be short lived. But this time was different. This time there was no end in site. The crisp white snow ahead was infinite and seemed prepared like a well groomed golf course. The ride was over an open wide space with minimal trees. Trees which were not blocks or difficulties but, instead, slight protection whether needed or not. This allowed a ride without fear of stumbling…stumbling upon obstacles. Clear of fundamental branches and twigs, free of “throwing-stones” that scraped the paint from my sled.

Yup, this ride was different. No one calling my name. No hunger or thirst. Everything that I needed seemed to be right where I needed it to be and if it wasn’t, there was no worry or doubt that it wouldn’t appear when the time was right.

It’s night time but the moon seems to be shining a path just for me. A circular, continuous, life-long path of repeat; occasionally bringing me back to the beginning spot. A spot not to start over but the start of a new project; a new thrilling ride. Every hill was a favorite. When something would appear as a sure ride stopper, my sled would swiftly maneuver itself as if magically steered by a higher power…this was bigger than me.

I sometimes thought about the others…whose ride did come to an end, continually start and then end or creek like old floor-boards while teetering but never leaving the top of the hill. Do I wait for them? Do I feel sorry for them? Do I downplay the excitement of my great ride to make them feel better about their accomplishments or lack there of? Maybe. Once…maybe twice. But then less time is spent creating, dream catching, and hustling. My time. Time is fair, it waits for no one which means that I have just as much time as they do. Do I spend it worrying about how someone else feels about my success? Regardless of how big or small, success is success is success. It’s much easier to dismiss, even patronize, someone else’s fortune than to create your own. To wish with fingers crossed and eyes tightly shut that my sled would malfunction or that it was me, waiting for a turn to sail effortlessly down the path, instead of them. Standing on the highest hill yelling just about anything to distract me from my ride. But like I said, a higher power took over the rope-like reign a long time ago.

I’ve dragged this same sled to this same hill for years knowing that I was cutout for this jaunt. Instead, I allowed others, hence, myself, to minimize my talents and build up my doubts like a snow drift piled against a wall with nowhere else to go. To tell me that my head was in the clouds because life doesn’t work that way. There are no magical sleds, no limitless hills, no feeling of complete happiness because “all good things must come to an end”.

It wasn’t until I tried something different, decided not to allow jaundiced thinking to cloud my vision, that I realized my thinking is the correct way of thinking…for me. Whatever it takes to live a truly happy life for me is what I just needed to do. It’s as simple as that. I just needed to do. I was doing a disservice to myself and others, especially those who loved me most and knew that I was destined for my own kind of greatness. I’ve been hated, I’ve been rated, but these actions come to the surface mostly when I’ve “made it”.

Naysayers do serve a purpose. Without them, it may not be possible to truly know how great you are. Greatness is in all of us it’s just that some of us are unable to see it and more importantly, feel it. Instead of over analyzing a “hater’s” every word and feeling bad, empathize…feel sorry for them because they sled uphill by choice. They are people who, unlike you, don’t know how to recognize or create their own happiness so they go through life with a half empty glass. They are wonderful teachers and mentors…on what not to do. Defeatists help us treat others better because we know first hand how it feels to receive a negative, because of a positive. Trust that they do not feel any better after slapping you with their thought-out/well calculated words of envy and sadness.

Going forward, I will control any feelings of jealousy that I may have (as they are normal). I will not allow anyone to live in my head “rent-free”. I will be understanding of others’ actions and toxic words. I will continue to go out of my way to uplift those working hard towards their goals and dreams because there are more of “us” than there are of “them”.

As I stare at my computer screen I take another deep breath. A breath that I initially took to release the feelings of anxiety and disbelief, I now take-in with a full smile on my face. It’s a smile of calmness. The calm before the storm. The snow storm that is the start of my purposely productive day tomorrow; life forever. My sled and I are ready. We want action and we want it now!

I hope your sled soon has a life of its own, allowing you to take that incessant snow ride. I hope that you smile, with your arms over your head and permanent tingle in your stomach.

That’s my wish for you; my misanthrope.

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